that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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