I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.