Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.