haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
someone owes me an orgasm
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
