I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
