i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
