Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
