that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
