Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
