She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
