Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize