bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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