He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
