TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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