when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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