i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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