sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
