My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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