are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
