Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize