ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
