You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You may now shotgun with the bride
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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