McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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