can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
