Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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