i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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