After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
