He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize