So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
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