Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
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She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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