If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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