Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
everyone is single if you try hard enough
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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