Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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