When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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