I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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