"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
