i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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