I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize