made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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