I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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