The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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