I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude. I can hear the air.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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