can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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