all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
