Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
