You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
