Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just forgot I was standing up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
