So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
