there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize