she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
