question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
