im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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