I just made out with a guy for $7.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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