just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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