I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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