my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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