It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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