WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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