Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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