Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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  (405): It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him. http://tfl.nu/10ee
  Replies (25) Good night (1530) Bad night (1708)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does

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  (551): She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does http://tfl.nu/519t
  Replies (26) Good night (10465) Bad night (730)
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  (607): View more from New York

  please dont tell anyone i was drunk

  (1-607): View more from New York

  you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know

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  (607): please dont tell anyone i was drunk (1-607): you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know http://tfl.nu/3807
  Replies (12) Good night (1305) Bad night (4455)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years

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  (609): It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years http://tfl.nu/cjjj
  Replies (27) Good night (8784) Bad night (1821)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.

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  (330): now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before. http://tfl.nu/kk2m
  Replies (14) Good night (2689) Bad night (1194)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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  (225): If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/axif
  Replies (7) Good night (1222) Bad night (2870)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.

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  (832): Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think. http://tfl.nu/5pb2
  Replies (9) Good night (1716) Bad night (748)
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  (760): View more from California

  I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME

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  (760): I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME http://tfl.nu/7g5e
  Replies (2) Good night (1212) Bad night (625)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.

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  (920): hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/4k38
  Replies (10) Good night (897) Bad night (511)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night

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  (512): Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night http://tfl.nu/ggi7
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (770)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs

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  (224): bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs http://tfl.nu/2u5i
  Replies (8) Good night (837) Bad night (412)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!

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  (603): Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless! http://tfl.nu/bxxj
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (356)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.

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  (864): Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement. http://tfl.nu/mb59
  Replies (8) Good night (635) Bad night (348)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt

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  (203): In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt http://tfl.nu/klez
  Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (510)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.

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  (502): When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him. http://tfl.nu/amc8
  Replies (1) Good night (974) Bad night (201)

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