Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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