Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize