is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up