Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"

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(414): He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly" http://tfl.nu/s1qp

Replies (41) Good night (842) Bad night (4958)
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(646): View more from New York

I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback

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(646): I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback http://tfl.nu/fcgu

Replies (22) Good night (3439) Bad night (880)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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(602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz

Replies (21) Good night (1370) Bad night (5224)
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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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(443): My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve. http://tfl.nu/bc9v

Replies (18) Good night (1212) Bad night (6771)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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(267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2

Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (2519)
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(914): View more from New York

I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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(914): I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired. http://tfl.nu/rh17

Replies (11) Good night (1003) Bad night (2772)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too

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(412): apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too http://tfl.nu/j3jp

Replies (10) Good night (3097) Bad night (1005)
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(303): View more from Colorado

How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?

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(303): How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head? http://tfl.nu/wek5

Replies (5) Good night (1959) Bad night (751)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

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(970): I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message. http://tfl.nu/3foq

Replies (6) Good night (2008) Bad night (606)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?

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(717): What time do you think you'll be heterosexual? http://tfl.nu/40xd

Replies (6) Good night (1251) Bad night (723)
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(818): View more from California

We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.

(619): View more from California

I will find you...

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(818): We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank. (619): I will find you... http://tfl.nu/dshk

Replies (17) Good night (2540) Bad night (658)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.

(256): View more from Alabama

They have marijuana tests too!

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(256): Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know. (256): They have marijuana tests too! http://tfl.nu/avoj

Replies (9) Good night (1206) Bad night (420)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.

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(484): So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest. http://tfl.nu/3leh

Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (278)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"

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(978): And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road" http://tfl.nu/f7q8

Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (403)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?

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(208): I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too? http://tfl.nu/54vl

Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (203)

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