If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
