Is it because I queefed?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize